Letting go 102. 

My insecurities lies with men. I never saw one take care of my mother.

I only saw her get pulled from one to another.

And my dad. 

I have broken memories of reaching for his hand. 

Or jumping into a hug 

But most of the time 

My father had an affair with drugs. 

My brother holds a grudge.

And the few relationships I’ve had been a reflection of it all. 

Verbal abuse followed my vulnerability, 

And humiliation dished out,

Ive been deceived, poisoned, mind fucked to shame, and abused.

I had a gun put to my head and hours later told the words, I love you.

My insecurities lies with men. 

From them I’ll seek validation never again. 


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