My insecurities lies with men. I never saw one take care of my mother.
I only saw her get pulled from one to another.
And my dad.
I have broken memories of reaching for his hand.
Or jumping into a hug
But most of the time
My father had an affair with drugs.
My brother holds a grudge.
And the few relationships I’ve had been a reflection of it all.
Verbal abuse followed my vulnerability,
And humiliation dished out,
Ive been deceived, poisoned, mind fucked to shame, and abused.
I had a gun put to my head and hours later told the words, I love you.
My insecurities lies with men.
From them I’ll seek validation never again.